ding!

So, my newest obsession is Daily Grace's Youtube channel! She is adorable, hilarious (sometimes inappropriate and cusses excessively), but very creative and original. We would get along in real life. Check her out: http://www.youtube.com/user/dailygrace!
I have started doing something I have never really done before, and that is pray for healing. I prayed for healing a lot when my aunt was sick but I have never prayed for personal physical healing. But I am really worried about my leg, it still isn't healed. I could get an x-ray and physical therapy but that would be all of my Colorado money. I am worried about it not being fully better yet. There are so many things I want to do that involve intensive use of both legs! Like dancing, hiking, working out......dancing.
Aaaaaand here's some pictures I enjoy lately!

photo update!

Hey, folks! Here is what's been happening with me! I went to my dad's to visit my brother before he moves away for college! We spent too much time having fun that I really didn't think to get a good picture with him! :( But here are some other neat things!

This grasshopper (is cricket?!) landed on our windshield! He looks like a nice gent!

Hugging my beloved family members!

We went to this cemetery! It was pretty eerie, there was a storm on the horizon and flashes of lightening from time to time.

Today, I got bored and chopped up an old shirt that had a hole in it and stuck a bunch of jewelry bits in it and now it's a necklace!

Here's one of my favorite day off outfits! That skirt has stains from paint and bleach but I wear it anyways because it is my fave!

Well, that's about it for now! I am eagerly awaiting my admission to Pottermore. I have been aching to go swimming but it's been too hot to even be worth it! My leg is pretty much back to normal, I still can't really run and if I bend it the wrong way it hurts, but I can walk swiftly with ease! I hope you are all doing well and staying cool!

seabear and the sun

I love the way the sun comes through my window. A lot of things are going to change in October, I am readying myself. And trying not to over-worry myself. Life has been very simple and solitary lately. I have been staying home and reading mostly. This summer has not been at all like I expected it to be. I think all of you should check out Seabear. Their Pandora station has been the soundtrack to my summer. Nothing really happens to me, so I don't have anything exciting or deep or meaningful to express here. But here are some pictures I enjoy!

blessed and a poem

I don't know why but I felt like writing a blog. I am pretty much bed ridden right now with cramps and a messed up leg. I popped my knew out of place by misplacing my weight, I guess? Whatever happened, it hurt, a lot. It is getting easier to walk on but I still prefer not to, because if I move my leg the wrong way and my weight is put in the wrong way, it hurts a lot! My knee is still swollen too! But last night was still magical! I am currently reading H.P. Lovecraft, if anyone has read him as well, let's talk about it! He is hard to read but still fascinating! I am also rereading the Harry Potter series! Also, I wanted to mention all the ways I have been blessed lately, and it's all in the context of time. It's hard to explain, but Time just keeps working out for me. So that even though at this moment my knee hurts and my muscles ache and it's hard to eat and my body is shaky and old sweaty, I know that it's just a matter of time before I am well again! And even this helps me to appreciate my body!
Remember when I used to write poetry? It's been really hard as of late, I rarely even have the inkling or desire. But I did write something the other day, I rather like. Here it is:
"feet pushing pavement
in the only way i know best
with alcohol pushing the blood through
there’s a whole universe, surfing through my veins
maybe i should let it out, maybe i should
little lights whisper sweet nothings,
nothing
the wind brings me nothing when it comes to brush my summer skin
no sudden revelations, or lovers in disguise
tread easy, light up, no hands on the wheel
who’s to steer, who’s still awake here?
who all can you hear, calling into the dark
trying to reach you, trying to reach you
but you keep bending the fabrics of reality
and your destruction is all that’s left
up on display, for everyone to see
so turn it down, keep it low
we’ve got miles left to go
but we’ll never get there if you keep holding your breath.
just frickin breathe already."

hair!

I remember when this blog community was hoppin! But alas, it has died down in the past year! At least Emily is still going strong! I want to try and get everyone back into it! Because it's fun to blog!
I did make a separate blog for my renegade artness, but I haven't DONE any renegading. And I also have no idea what the log in is anymore. But anywho! I wanted to share my new obsession with you guys! If you hang out with me in real life, then you already know, I really want an afro!
Sounds a little craycray, right?! Cause I'm white....I know! But it's hard not to dream when I see pictures like these:





They look so fun! I am taking biotin so my hair will grooooow! I am hoping by the end of the month my hair will be long enough! Will I look ridiculous with an afro? Most definitely. I doubt I can pull it off. But you never know until you try and I'm young so why not?!

i would buy myself a grey quitar and play

I am listening to Counting Crows right now.
I will alwayssss love them!
I never really have an urge to listen to them all the time, and can go months without listening to them.
But it always seems that they re-enter my life exactly when I need them most.
I will never forget the first time I really heard them.
In acting class, when my first HUGE crush lip synced "Mr. Jones" for music day.
Ah.
And that was what, 7 years ago?
Wheeeeeew. Craziness.
It's really, really odd to think about how far I have come in life. The insane ups and downs that only I know of, the drama with friends, the ones that left and the amazing ones that had hearts big enough to love me no matter what, the hearts I've broken, the heartbreak I've been through, the self-searching, my reliance on others, my years of feeling lost, numb, extremely confused. I hate how complex I am, how I never seem to know what I want, that I don't get things right away, that I don't have things all figured out...actually no. Scratch that.
I really, really love who I am. I am very confused and have exceptionally little figured out, but I am very happy. Probably more happy than a lot of people that have so much figured out. Not all who wander are lost. I definitely don't feel lost anymore. I don't feel like I am living in the shadow of others, I feel like a real and actual person. And maybe not one other soul around me will notice me, or my worth, but for some reason, I know it doesn't matter. I just know that I feel such passion for life, for existing, for love, that nothing and no one can damper it. And everyday, I struggle to see the light and not feel numb, everyday it's a battle. And it's not always easy. But at least I have the ability to fight. And that in itself is a beautiful thing.
Anyways, not a whole lot is going on with me lately, working and hanging out with friends, nothing too out of the ordinary. I am pretty content with being pretty boring, actually. I am preferring the quiet in life right now.
I usually include pictures but I am feeling kinda lazy tonight. Soooo sorry, maybe in the next post.....two months from now? Haha!

costume rant

So, my brother and I went to the Halloween store in the mall to look at costumes. about 80% of all the costumes were women costumes. And 95% of those were extremely revealing .The ones that were not, were plus size or creepy old lady ghost mummies.
I was vastly disappointed in the selection. Then we went to Wal-Mart, where I saw a Princess Peach costume in the girl's section. I then saw a Mario costume in the men's section and thought "Then SURELY they have a Peach costume in the women's section!" But alas, they did not.
I can not be Princess Peach or a modest forest fairy or even a modest NUN!
But as a woman, I do have the plentiful options of being: a revealing cheerleader, a revealing nun, a revealing fairy, a revealing pirate, a revealing nurse, a revealing  clown, a revealing native american, a revealing witch, and a revealing Hogwarts student. 
For crying out loud! I am a 22 year old with a normal [non-porn star] body that wants to go to Halloween parties [not strip clubs] and hang out with my friends [not film pornos in the back of vans!]
I would still like to be able to buy a fun costume and not wear a trash bag and sweatpants and go as a hobo.
Guys get awesome costumes! Darth Vader, Indiana Jones, Ninja!
But someone, somewhere thought "Let's only make revealing women's costumes! Because what woman doesn't want to be freezing on Halloween night!"
ME!
It's just extremely frustrating.
These two sites had some scary stuff to share about the sexism of Halloween costumes.
http://stilettorevolt.com/2009/10/go-sexy-go-home/
and
http://appetiteforequalrights.blogspot.com/2008/08/sexism-of-halloween-costumes.html

Here are some pictures from one site, comparing men costumes to women costumes:



It's absolute insanity! And pretty sickening!
I'm just a regular girl who wants the option of buying a non-revealing costume.
And I think it is beyond ridiculous that such an option doesn't really exist.
Infuriating, actually.