A Week of Unplug-ness

I just had five days off or work. I did not make as much art as I thought I would... 

I started a few pieces, which are now laying about, bored out of their unfinished minds. 

I believe I am in a bit of a creative rut here. And I don't blame the internet, although it can be distraction. 

I think I just need to unplug from everything and get back to my own life, to have room to find my own voice again. To find what inspires me in real life, without all the pictures and blogs and tweets of things that inspire me. 

I am still going to tweet my grateful tweet everyday, since that is a journey I set myself upon. 

But I will not browse twitter or be checking any other tweets from those I follow.

I am allowing myself to still use 750 words.com everyday since this is also a habit I am trying to form and am hoping it may become an e-book someday. So that is staying in.

So besides that, I will not be online. Nor will I use my computer for music listening or movie watching. 

My computer makes it way too easy for things to become mindless, I can read three blog posts real fast and not really take them in. I can play music in the background as I clean or create, instead of really listening to music. I can watch t.v. shows while I eat or pass the time instead of focusing on my food or spending the time creating. 

And so, a week of unplugging to find my creative fountain ounce again it is! I hope a week is enough time! I have a feeling it's going to be really hard. Technology has become such an extension of our own beings, that we don't even think about how we use and interact with them.

This week is just to test the waters. And if, in the future, I feel I must unplug again, I will know if I need more time! 

I hope you all are well. I hope you are playing in your creative fountains. If not, go find them and get to splashing around!

Letting Go

I have been thinking so hard and racking my brain for a good blog post, for something inspiring and full of light and joy. But the universe has other plans. Well, I do hope that this may inspire others, but firstly, it needs to inspire me. This past year has been very hard on me on a personal level. And it has been very hard for me to let the past go, to get up, dust myself off and keep moving forward. It seems that with the smallest provocation, the past will spring up and entangle me and send me asunder. It has been hard to move forward, to grow, to really reach my dreams and live my Human Experience fully because my focus keeps looking backward. I do try. But if feels like a losing battle. To wake up and create the life I desire, only to have the past creep in as the day carries on. It is exhausting. It's been over a year, I am ready to let go. I want to let go. I want to move on. I have been thinking a lot on why I keep getting caught up, what is stopping me? What is holding me back? I recognize that I have so many wounds wide open and that I will not be able to move forward without healing first. And I recognize that stumbling forward and trying to push the past away is not doing the trick. I am going to have to face it. I am going to have to settle in and really get into this business. I am going to have to really feel it, really let it be in me, really experience the loss, and then let it go. And really let it go, not just ignore it for a short time. It is definitely not going to happen over night, there is no easy fix. It is going to take time and a lot of energy and fight. But I have to do it. Or it's just going to settle into my bones and be there forever. Always in the back of my mind, always in the corner of my vision, always weighing me down, exhausting my energy. I have to get really serious about this healing. I have to admit, I am scared. I am uncomfortable with confrontation, I have strong case of social anxiety. But things need to be addressed, loose ends need to be tied, closure must be attended to.
Well, that is what is going on with me. That is what the universe keeps showing me, through so many mediums. It's time to start listening.
I am hoping a more uplifting and positive blog will come along soon! But I did not want to write something that was not authentic to my own life. I did not feel right posting something bubbly and joyful when that is not where I am at right now. I thank you all for sticking with me through this!

I do have pictures though! I went on an amazing hike with some friends and it was misty and mystical and I felt like Legolas, running across Middle Earth! (Sans the pointy ears and bow and arrow, unfortunately.)

 

Ah. So zen and poetic. I am so enchanted by the formations of nature. 

I hope you are all well, I hope you are all on the path to your best selves. I hope you are all healing and finding peace! I believe in you!

A new journey begins.

Hello there, folks! I am proud and very excited to announce a new project/journey I am about to begin! I am going to be tweeting something I am grateful for everyday! I had a twitter years ago and I found it to be boring and useless. It seemed to be a way to glimpse into celebrity's lives, something I was not at all interested in, so I deleted it. But I have been reading this extremely inspiring book titled "The Art of Non-Conformity" by Chris Guillebeau. Reading this book, I am coming up with more and more ideas for self-growth and how I can possibly help others at the same time. I realized that twitter could be used for good, if used in the right way. I hope to inspire people to look at their own lives and see all there is to be grateful for. I hope that I inspire people to slow down, sit down, breathe slowly, to really notice the breeze caressing their skin, to really notice the patterns of the clouds, to really notice the specks in their lover's eyes. I am hopeful that others will join in and begin tweeting things they are grateful for as well. I want to start a grateful revolution! I hope you all will join me, if you have a twitter! You can follow me at  https://twitter.com/gratefulgasping. And check out "The Art of Non-Conformity", it is very inspiring indeed!

And now, here is some recent art!

 

I made this lovely lady at the art walk my town has every month! I plan to use her in a bigger piece.

(My friend said that she terrified him. A comment that I am quite proud of, honestly.) 

Art Journal 3/1/13

Art Journal 3/5/13

A commission piece for a friend. 

I hope you all are well. I hope you are making your dreams come true. I hope you are always finding things to be grateful for! I am grateful for each and every person that reads this! Thank you!

Art and Wonderings and...

I am slightly down because I used to make these great posts about life and the truth of it all and good, uplifting stuff and nothing amazing has come to me lately. :( But I have art! Which is always nice. 

Here is some recent stuff! 

 

 

This last one my friend had me do in your "friend art" sketchbook when we were chilling at the river. 

That was a great day. 

Work is stressful. I haven't been dancing in far too long. I relish my days off, but I would relish them more if the weather was nicer! 

I've been listening to 90s alt rock like nobody's business! 

 I am still, somehow, losing weight! That makes me quite happy!

I hope you are all well and having great days and making art that makes you happy and listening to music that makes you feel deeply!

(>'v')> hugs!

I've Been Doing Things!

Hello there, old friends! It has been a hot minute, I know!
So, I know that by the end of January, a lot of people have already lost track of their new year's resolutions. Let's see how I'm doing, shall we. Here were my new year's resolutions:

 

Okay, first one, get fit and healthy! That one is going excellent! I have already lost ten pounds. I then gained two, but then I lost those again too! My legs are definitely getting toned and less flabby and I get to eat amazing healthy food and I feel great! (Greek yogurt with honey is my obsession!)

Second one, meditate. Eep. I have definitely been letting this one slide. I need to start slowing down and letting myself breathe! My mind is constantly moving at top speed, through chaos and whimsy. So, I do need to settle down and just let myself be. 

Third, write more poetry. I have done a little better here. I even made a video of a spoken word poem!

Fourth, go out in nature more. Weather permitted, yeah, I am not doing bad on this one! I walk to the store, and walk around the nearby park. It is starting to feel like spring around here and I am loving it! 

Fifth, make more art! I am definitely doing better! I think I will put some new art in a post of it's own soon! I don't want this one to get too crowded! 

Sixth, stress less. Wellllllllll. Haha. I know I could try more here. It's just a matter of being aware and mindful. I do take more relaxing baths! 

Seventh, bring peace and healing to the world. Well, I really don't feel like I do that much. I need to reach out to my friends more. I have been excessively reclusive lately. I could reach out more, and focus on bringing light into the world more. I need to stay on the healing path! 

Eighth, learn sign language. This one isn't too serious and is just for fun. I am very intrigued by sign language. I have the alphabet pretty much done but I do need to study more! 

How are you all doing on your resolutions, goals, and dreams?! I am loving 2013 so far and looking forward to a creative year of growth and revelations! Healing and blessings to you all! <3 br="">

Reflecting on 2012

2012 has been a tumultuous year! I moved back to Oklahoma from Colorado, celebrated a one year anniversary with my wonderful Maldives, I learned a lot of lesson, had lots of lazy days, and I cried a LOT! But it was beautiful! So, here's a reflection on 2012 before I set my eyes on tackling 2013!
Here is some of my best Facebook statuses from 2012:

 

 Here's some photos of great 2012 moments:

 

1) My friends and I went to "Life in Color", an awesome dance rave where they throw/shoot/pour lots and LOTS of paint on you! It was so much fun!
2) A picture of me from my Welcome Back to Oklahoma party! We went down to the river, which I missed greatly while I was away, and I got to hang out with greatly missed friends!
3) My family and I went to a peace festival! This is my dad an I holding up the free signs they had at the door! I love my family!

And here's some of my favorite art pieces I have created in 2012:

 

And here are my two favorite "How Strange, How Small We Must Become" blog posts: 

http://howstrangehowsmall.blogspot.com/2012/01/lets-talk-dirty.html

http://howstrangehowsmall.blogspot.com/2012/03/human-experience.html

I am very excited for 2013! I will post my goals and dreams once we get into the new year! I hope everyone had a merry Christmas and a magical 2012! What are some of your favorite moments of 2012?

Early December Update

I am loving this holiday season so far. I am having so much fun being crafty, making Christmas decorations and Christmas gifts. I love my holiday playlist. Sufjan Stevens, Family Force 5, and Relient K all have amazing Christmas albums.

The winter season and cold outside does bring about an atmosphere of internal reflection. I try to be mindful of my self everyday, my feelings, my memories, my intentions. I have a lot of hurt that still needs healing and I am trying everyday to lighten the load and be mindful of the source of suffering. It's a tangled, exhausting battle. A daily battle of the darkness of past hurts and the light of ever- springing creativity. It might not be a battle that ever ends, because each day brings new pains and new inspirations for hope. I am learning to allow myself the dark days, because they help me to find healing as well. Simply smothering the darkness with smiles and acting like it isn't there will not heal in the end. Everyday is new and I must put one foot in front of the other with the intent of doing the best I can, of seeing with eyes unclouded by hate. Wish me well, and I wish the same for you!

 One of my homemade Christmas presents, this one is for my nephew!

 I like adding texture to art with tangles of string!

 The three above are art journal pages. 

And I am always adding to my Christmas decorations! 

I hope you are all enjoying December and the holiday season! :D