the haze that comes in waves

trampoline white,
as stark as a flower in the falling rain,
following the dusty storm,
lightness cloud and mist in the mirror,
skin meeting water, fullest of forgotten being,
no feeling of whereabouts within,
moments shuddering in waves of gone and not really there but looking around,
blinking, no sleeping, waking in the waves of sound,
lapping waves of music surrounds, pressing upon my being,
it's getting less, i've been duped,
surrounded by the smoke, lost within the lasers of lights,
pressed between the wall and your hips moving against mine,
never what i expected it to be,
losing myself in the hold your lips have on me,
sweet voice, sweet name, sweet returnings to reality,
new beginnings, lack of sleep to carry me onward,
for stepping on the glass,
why is writing more important than spelling when i know it's happening,
it feels less over time, over lapping words sprung from some spring
of my eye always hurting,
in the desert, please read my words,
in response, so it's not for naught,
to stand on the edge of the ledge and not feel fear anymore,
sailing over lungs in knots we tie together,
gypsy vapors, swim within me, my mind at ease, at her leisure,
in forgotten mason jars, thoughts in ebb and flow,
areas of stone beneath my feet against the wind,
at the window sits a crow beneath the scattering colors of the sky,
silence bears the grey morning,
the haze is fading, growing brighter in my mind to such disappointment,
waterfalls of twinkling sunshine stars,
ringing out bells of the death, wandering about town,
so as to say, not existing.
i hope i make it, i wonder how to act within myself,
to win the lady's heart,
the altogether soft under the boyish veil,
if she discovers with her limbs,
i could relax a thing or two,
the rising of tensions against the skin and radiating, warming,
escaping, little moans, what is heard besides your breath in the night,
little death,
bright and cold as the moon shining the way,
casting light out loud, things whispered, to be complete,
rising higher on some secret spectrum,
i can move more easily and think the clearest thoughts
before the haze carries me to settled sleep within myself.

"..for Quickbeam often laughed. He laughed if the sun came out from behind a cloud, he laughed if they came upon a stream or a spring: then he stooped and splashed his feet and head with water; he laughed sometimes at some sound or whisper in the trees."- "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" by J.R. Tolkien.

I read this and instantly jotted down the words so I could remember them! Quickbeam is an Ent, and for those that are not down with the LOTR universe, Ents are tree-like creatures that look after the trees! They are one of my favorite parts of Lord of the Rings; they are old, wise, they think a long time before acting or speaking, and they care deeply for the earth. And Quickbeam reminds me a lot of the person I try to be! I don't always make it, and a lot of times I just get caught up in my own troubles and worries that I don't take time to notice anything around me. But I do try to notice the little things and to appreciate them. I enjoy watching a dog play in the snow, or appreciating the form of a pretty rock, or looking up to see the stars instead of focusing on getting to where I am going. Because, really, it's the going that really matters, not the arrival. I think the world would be a much happier, brighter place if we could all appreciate the small things around us. If we could laugh at the sun warming our skin and the stream bubbling along merrily, or the sound of the wind, or the bark on the trees, or the falling of snow. Even for a few minutes, if we could step outside our troubles and worries about bills or work or chores or errands or the future or the past or our weight or our fears or our social anxiety or our relationship problems. If we could just let it go for a moment, and just get lost in a snowflake, or a bee collecting pollen, or the notes of a song, or the sound of pen against paper, or the strokes of colors in a painting; if we can get lost in the beauty of things, for just a moment, I think we could form the habit of always finding something to laugh about, to appreciate, even in the darkest of times. It's certainly worth a try! Even keeping a little notebook and pen and writing down all the things that you notice throughout the day that make your heart a little lighter. I think when we return to our worries and troubles, they will feel slightly lighter and seem a little smaller. I hope you all find bountiful things to laugh at and appreciate in the coming days! I hope we can laugh at the streams of goodness in our lives and splash around in them with reckless abandon and joy, without fear or judgement! These moments will strengthen us anew with hope, so that we can make the world around us even brighter! So, I guess to sum it all up, cherish these moments, let yourself experience true joy; because the world needs you at your most bright and brilliant! And you wouldn't want to let the WORLD down, would you? Hmmmmmm?!