Saturday, December 31, 2011

Greeting 2012 With A Grinning Spirit

A decade ago, Neil Gaiman wrote on his blog:
"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget
to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

And this quote fully embodies what I desire in 2012.
2011 has been a year of intense, frightening, painful, amazing, magical, beautiful, and refreshing growth. I lost my dearest friend, I grew apart from many others, I felt a lot of pain and loneliness, I made some big mistakes, sometimes I made beautiful things and thought wonder thoughts and hugged amazing people. I found a brilliant person to journey with, I moved to Boulder, I cried a lot and laughed even more. I made huge discoveries about friendship, the power of words and energy, my spiritual self, and just how strong I really am.

I have decided not to have a new year's resolution, has anyone ever actually achieved those silly things? No one I know has, and I know i certainly never have. I believe new year's resolutions are hardly achieved because they are mostly things we feel like we should do to become some ideal version of ourselves that is pressed upon us by the influences of society, and not really desires of growth and experience that come from within. Usually they are just goals to make sure we are living the ideal life, as portrayed by outside ideals and expectations.
We should focus on what drives us, what excites us, what makes our spirit glow. These are the things we will accomplish out of pure passion and desire, not for the means of checking something of a list. We desire to merely attempt them, to explore them, to experience them; not just finish them.

I have thought a lot recently about my passions, my creative spirit and areas of growth I wish to explore.

I have developed a very exciting idea about starting an organization that hosts events to raise money for various causes. The events will be a chaos of creativity; including crafts, art, music, spoken word, and perchance even story telling and dancing! This is an idea I am very, very excited about!

I really, really want to write more fiction! Faery tales and fantasy adventures especially! Give me goblins and dragons and princesses and elves and talking animals and trickster pixies! I also want to explore storytelling! I remember telling my little siblings all kinds of crazy stories when we were younger. Storytelling seems fun, taking people on incredible journey's as they listen, seeing their reactions to plot twist, getting them to laugh or even cry, to entrance them away from reality for just a little bit. It's a powerful gift, I hope I can embody it and use it wisely.

I would like to become even more minimalist and consuming less. I have been fairly good about not buying things I don't need. I have been shopping at thrift stores for most things that I do need. But I could get rid of more things. I am thinking of leaning more towards vegetarian, except fish occasionally. The amount of energy and grain that is used to produce meat is astronomical and I really don't want to contribute to it. I would like to dumpster dive for food to decrease the amount of food I have to purchase. Luckily, dumpster diving is a popular concept here in Boulder so I can find someone to go with!

I would like to disconnect more, I go numb in front of this computer. The internet is so full of knowledge that I want to read, read, read and read! So many blogs, so many pretty pictures, so much good music! But I need to sign off and connect with reality, my actual life. I want to explore nature more, and meditate more, and pray more, and journal more and feel more connected to the universe I am a part of, instead of only being connected to the internet universe I give so much of my self to. This will be hard, since both sides are sides that I enjoy immensely. I just need to balance them better.

I have high hopes for 2012! I hope all of you had a lovely 2011 and I hope you all find your passions and your creative spirits in 2012! You are all brilliant!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Thankfulness in August

I meant to post this a week ago but alas! At least it is here now! Things I have been thankful for this August!
  • friends that tell me the truth, even if it hurts. They keep me grounded and point out things I keep hidden from myself, and seeing those things and addressing them helps me to grow!
  • getting free Olive Garden! The perks of my work.
  • my new camera! I love it so much and I got it at an amazing price!
  • dancing int he elevators/the kitchen/back office at work. It keeps me smiling, even if work is stressful!
  • my knee being almost back to normal! It rarely hurts anymore and I can even run for short periods now!
  • one word: wugawugabushmeat. another amazing perk from my job!
  • my Creator giving me clear and bright guidance, so I can stay out of hurtful situations.
  • going to BangBang again, such a fun time and talented people!
Those are just a few things that were great about August! And I can already tell that September is going to be magical! The weather is changing and it feels brilliant! What were some things you were thankful for in August and what are you looking forward to in September?

Sunday, August 14, 2011


So, my newest obsession is Daily Grace's Youtube channel! She is adorable, hilarious (sometimes inappropriate and cusses excessively), but very creative and original. We would get along in real life. Check her out:!
I have started doing something I have never really done before, and that is pray for healing. I prayed for healing a lot when my aunt was sick but I have never prayed for personal physical healing. But I am really worried about my leg, it still isn't healed. I could get an x-ray and physical therapy but that would be all of my Colorado money. I am worried about it not being fully better yet. There are so many things I want to do that involve intensive use of both legs! Like dancing, hiking, working out......dancing.
Aaaaaand here's some pictures I enjoy lately!

Friday, August 5, 2011

photo update!

Hey, folks! Here is what's been happening with me! I went to my dad's to visit my brother before he moves away for college! We spent too much time having fun that I really didn't think to get a good picture with him! :( But here are some other neat things!

This grasshopper (is cricket?!) landed on our windshield! He looks like a nice gent!

Hugging my beloved family members!

We went to this cemetery! It was pretty eerie, there was a storm on the horizon and flashes of lightening from time to time.

Today, I got bored and chopped up an old shirt that had a hole in it and stuck a bunch of jewelry bits in it and now it's a necklace!

Here's one of my favorite day off outfits! That skirt has stains from paint and bleach but I wear it anyways because it is my fave!

Well, that's about it for now! I am eagerly awaiting my admission to Pottermore. I have been aching to go swimming but it's been too hot to even be worth it! My leg is pretty much back to normal, I still can't really run and if I bend it the wrong way it hurts, but I can walk swiftly with ease! I hope you are all doing well and staying cool!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

seabear and the sun

I love the way the sun comes through my window. A lot of things are going to change in October, I am readying myself. And trying not to over-worry myself. Life has been very simple and solitary lately. I have been staying home and reading mostly. This summer has not been at all like I expected it to be. I think all of you should check out Seabear. Their Pandora station has been the soundtrack to my summer. Nothing really happens to me, so I don't have anything exciting or deep or meaningful to express here. But here are some pictures I enjoy!

Friday, July 15, 2011

blessed and a poem

I don't know why but I felt like writing a blog. I am pretty much bed ridden right now with cramps and a messed up leg. I popped my knew out of place by misplacing my weight, I guess? Whatever happened, it hurt, a lot. It is getting easier to walk on but I still prefer not to, because if I move my leg the wrong way and my weight is put in the wrong way, it hurts a lot! My knee is still swollen too! But last night was still magical! I am currently reading H.P. Lovecraft, if anyone has read him as well, let's talk about it! He is hard to read but still fascinating! I am also rereading the Harry Potter series! Also, I wanted to mention all the ways I have been blessed lately, and it's all in the context of time. It's hard to explain, but Time just keeps working out for me. So that even though at this moment my knee hurts and my muscles ache and it's hard to eat and my body is shaky and old sweaty, I know that it's just a matter of time before I am well again! And even this helps me to appreciate my body!
Remember when I used to write poetry? It's been really hard as of late, I rarely even have the inkling or desire. But I did write something the other day, I rather like. Here it is:
"feet pushing pavement
in the only way i know best
with alcohol pushing the blood through
there’s a whole universe, surfing through my veins
maybe i should let it out, maybe i should
little lights whisper sweet nothings,
the wind brings me nothing when it comes to brush my summer skin
no sudden revelations, or lovers in disguise
tread easy, light up, no hands on the wheel
who’s to steer, who’s still awake here?
who all can you hear, calling into the dark
trying to reach you, trying to reach you
but you keep bending the fabrics of reality
and your destruction is all that’s left
up on display, for everyone to see
so turn it down, keep it low
we’ve got miles left to go
but we’ll never get there if you keep holding your breath.
just frickin breathe already."

Saturday, July 9, 2011


I remember when this blog community was hoppin! But alas, it has died down in the past year! At least Emily is still going strong! I want to try and get everyone back into it! Because it's fun to blog!
I did make a separate blog for my renegade artness, but I haven't DONE any renegading. And I also have no idea what the log in is anymore. But anywho! I wanted to share my new obsession with you guys! If you hang out with me in real life, then you already know, I really want an afro!
Sounds a little craycray, right?! Cause I'm white....I know! But it's hard not to dream when I see pictures like these:

They look so fun! I am taking biotin so my hair will grooooow! I am hoping by the end of the month my hair will be long enough! Will I look ridiculous with an afro? Most definitely. I doubt I can pull it off. But you never know until you try and I'm young so why not?!