Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Dreams Arising

Dreams are arising for me. 
They are coming up strong, forces to be reckoned with. 

I feel empowered, commanding. 
Calling them home like lost children.

They are awakening.
They are thundering.

I'm the conduit.
I'm the friction.
I'm the electrified air frizzling.
I'm the strike.
The blinding white hot bolt.
I'm the smoldering.
The aftershock.

I'm not taking my life lightly anymore. 
I'm experiencing fiercely.

I may be mindful, brewing.
But my meaning is in movement. 

But also jumping in, full force.
Safety free.
 Burning chaos.
Madness in the methods.
Creating, forming. 

These experiences will form my reality.
My spirit.
My chemical make up.

I immerse in fear.
Fear of judgement.
Fear of failure. 
Fear of looking foolish.
Fear of what loved ones will think.
Fear of not being supported. 
A fear of becoming the force of energy I feel is forming and arising.
A fear of changing so much that I won't be able to relate to loved ones the same way I do now.
A fear that loved ones won't like my emerging ideals, my lifestyle, my energy, my focusing. 
A fear they won't share with me, celebrate with me, appreciate with me, vision with me, expand with me. 

I burn through fear. 
Vapor alchemy.

I arise.
yaelaed abides.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

27 Things for 27 Years

Hiya folks! 
I turned 27 yesterday! 
It was a pleasant and delightful day. 
I ate breakfast at my favorite restaurant, went to an art gallery and art museum, made art in a book store, and watched X-Files with my Bandit. Lovely times. 

I thought I would share 27 randoms things; 
facts about me, things I've learned, things I like, and so on. 

1) I have two tattoos and I want so many more!

2) Despite most people's preferences, I really like being blonde. 
3) I hate the smell of freshly cut grass. It's overwhelming and suffocating. I feel like I can't breathe when I am around it. 
4) I have the world's tiniest attention span. 

5) I'm getting more introverted with age. 

6) Sincerity is vital. 
7) Put more heart into things. 
8) I've noticed that all my favorite characters/peoples are always the pure of heart, loyal ones; Samwise Gamgee, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Hart, Rory Williams, Kimmy Schmidt, ect. 

9) Face toner is a great thing. 

10) There's so much I want to experience!!!

11) There will never be enough time for all the books. 

12) I'm getting better at letting things go and wanting less. 

13) I will never not like floral prints. 

14) I still don't know how to adult. 

17) Don't take yourselves, or anything, or life so seriously. It's a big experience experiment. Being stressed, working numbing jobs, and not being your true self is a waste of the abundance of resources and energy we have in this life.

18) Bands I'm blaring the most right now: Envy on the Coast, Squid the Whale, I the Mighty, and Tilian. 

19) I've never regretted that I stopped shaving five years ago. 

20) I'm getting weirder with age. 

21) My desire is growing to be surrounded by those whom are passionate dreamers, hard working, sincere, positive, and lift others up. 

22) My intolerance for people who aren't is growing at a very rapid rate.

23) I feel blessed for my life everyday. I live a pretty charmed life. 

24) Glitter solves more problems than people think. 

25) You have successes, you have failures. But YOU are not a success or a failure.

26) Humans are mind bendingly and infinitely complex. 

27) It's easy to view life as a story that we are the main character of. It's easy to make everyone else the side character, or even worse, the background furniture. Please take note of those surrounding you, of those you pass in the street; they have their own story. We are all just walking stories, evolving with each step. We are writing the plot with each breath. And existence itself is the main character.


Thursday, May 21, 2015

-yaelaed (growth and coffee)

start in the middle and go in swirls
overwhelming digital memories
RAM is such a beautiful collection of sounds. 

I've been light on time but heavy on wealth. 
gray skies stop being poetic after a week
but I let the yearning quiet

presence presents itself
dear god, do i need to move more
i don't like social or media

 i like books and drawing and painting and listening to music
and i cant find any good new music
my earbuds prick
roses don't make sounds
but i bet they sound like chainsaws

gemini souls unite like sailor scouts
i want those green boots
i find it so precious to be called monsters daily

my mouth only wants edamame
my eyes; the growth of green
the cream of coffee
the soft ears
the windchimes i never buy

my songs are silent

and why is dirt a derogatory term?


Saturday, May 2, 2015

Celebrations and Hopes

Hey beautiful flim flams.
Life has been filled with transitions and celebrations as of late. 
First, I put in my two weeks notice at the retirement community I worked at, which was a huge decision and felt quit scary and momentous.
Then I finally got a new job at Best Western. 
Oh, and my artwork was published in Dawn DeVries Sokol's book, A World of Artist Journal Pages!

 And I finished my first e-book for IGNITE which was a mad rush that I finished at 4 a.m. and I'm so proud of it and the two paintings I made for it. 
And I had my last day at my old job and the first day at my new job. 
And the weather hasn't been cold and I've gotten some good free food at the food bank, so I feel pretty light lately. 

And I've been using the app Diana to create some double exposure pictures and I am in love with the results and this app! 

I hope you are all well. Stay weird. Get weirder. 
Be blessed.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

A quick update: I'm in a book!

Hi lovely folks and pandas!
Yesterday "A World of Artist Journal Pages" by Dawn DeVries Sokol came out! 
And I'm in it!
Two of my art journal pages from 2013 were selected. 
My art has never been published before so I am quite elated! 
This morning, my panda and I went to Barnes and Noble and they had one copy that I cuddled with for a good while!

This book is filled with so many amazing artists and their beautiful pages.
I'm definitely going to be looking up these other artists! 

Hope everyone else out there is having a pleasant day. 

be well

Thursday, April 9, 2015

-yaelaed (how heavy things become)

How heavy things can become when we are carrying them on our backs and they gain weight so slowly, we don't even notice it and then one day we find ourselves crying from the pain of the heaviness we carry around. 

And I just want to put ebooks on my phone.
And find new music that alights me. 
And for it to be summer time.

I am taking a leap and hoping the Universe has my back and is rising up to catch me. 

Everyone should read more Vonnegut and Lovecraft.
Comic books are a thing now. 

I don't like reminiscing as much as I used to, so that feels empowering. 
I feel more in power of my control over color and shape and creating. 
And breathing. 

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is my spirit animal.

I post too much on instagram and save nothing special for the blog. 
Except these: 
Panda and I went to the library art gallery and there were these paintings under a microscope! 
So stellar!

This is a recent art journal page, around the theme of creative process.

This is some kind of tapioca cake thing.....It was glittery....

Another art journal page around the theme of intuition:

and I felt cute on my day off. 

And now we embark, even if our adventures are begging for opportunity and our courage is making us poor. 
Still we rise up to meet our destiny with honor, valor, and pureness of heart.

Be well, all. 


Monday, February 23, 2015

Words and Images: Desire

I call upon completion
the process of please
the sky ending trinity
I desire finishing
cycles of unloading
dreamy skin holding trouble
the hurt in turning around
new morning coverings
colorings in whisperings
edging the entirety
 I desire a new tightness
the firmness of truth
the brightness of softening 
a whereness 
awareness to awakenings 
I desire more
but quiet 
but stirring
but knowing
but open
but settled
I'm happening. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Watercolors and WIPS

Hello folks! 
I know January was supposed to be my month for embroidery, but I actually didn't do much! 
I started a few but they do take a while and I haven't finished them yet.
I think embroidery is a nice "in-between" craft. 
It's easy to pick up and put down, so it's easy to do when you have some free time to get lost in the meditative process of it. 
It's definitely a craft I want to explore more and spend more time on! 

But February is the month to explore portraits and I am excited to get into it! 
A lot of my art is usually drawings of whimsical, more abstract ladies. 
Working more on realistic portraits, or at least different styles will be a fun art adventure. 

Speaking of my usual ladies, here's two recent pages in my watercolor sketchbook:

Also, I bought an easel! 
I feel very professional. :D 
Here's what I have up there now: 

And here is my first portrait of February: 
It was a quick one, and came out quite off proportion. 
I didn't like it at first because it was so off, but I like it better with color. 
And it still captures the goofy energy of me and the panda. 
So, I'm pretty pleased. 

I hope you all had a great first month of 2015 and are keeping up the creative energy for month two! 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Creative Exploration

Hello folks! 
Things have been busy here, but the weather was nice all week so I'm feeling positive and refreshed.

I kept thinking about all the inspiration I see daily on blogs or pinterest 
and all the different types of art I am in love with and want to explore. 
Then I got the idea to try a challenge, well, not a challenge, just a fun idea. 
Because there are SO many types of art I want to try, it usually leaves my mind reeling.
I feel chaotic energy and overwhelmed so that I cant even fully focus on the art I do settle down to create. 
So I came up with the idea to dedicate each month this year to a different type/style/aspect of art that I am interested in! 

I'm actually really excited!
(I will always be art journaling no matter what month because that is my go-to for creative output) 
Here are the months and their focus: 
  • January: Embroidery (I've already started and I can tell this is going to be a huge obsession with me!)
  • February: Portraits
  • March: Cardboard houses 
       Like this one (found here.)
  • Or these cities found here

  • April: Wood burning
  •  May: Animals
  • June: Photography
  • July: Nerd themed art (Lots of Ghibli and Doctor Who, I imagine!)
  • August: Fabric art
I mean....
with inspiration like this, how could I not be excited?

  • September: Mobiles
  • October: Watercolor
  • November: Mandalas
  • December: Collaborations (something I have never really done, so this is a huge one!)
This plan will help me to focus and fully immerse into one craft without distraction.
When I'm trying to work on portraits, I won't have my brain rattling about photography. I can think,  "It's okay, I'm doing that in a few months and will be able to fully immerse in it for a full month so I can fully immerse in this now."

I'm looking forward to the exploration of the months ahead!
I've already found embroidery to be a delight.
It's very meditative and calming for me, actually.

I haven't finished any completely to share here yet but they are coming along.

I hope you are all having a great 2015 so far and are excited for the months to come.
Life is a playground; explore, go on adventures, experiment, laugh!

(Oh yeah, I updated my blog banner. What do ya think?)

Monday, January 12, 2015

Words and Images: Oh

 i only amiate
original thought
oh press me
i sink under your skin like liquid spirit
gift of permanence
tattering illusions like dry paint

uneven tides
wavering on blank space
just give me the weird
the marrow
the dancing
the shaking unknowing
a collective of shallow
holy vessels 
carried across centuries
my true love is history
fear is a loading screen
twenty one pilots
of leafs shuddering
oh let's travel more wide than far
i want the deepness
the recognizable holding
oh come climbing
you know the way from my eyes back to somewhere looking backwards
exact abstracts bend your fingers
to my open will
oh how softly i come calling

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Unravelling 2015

Hello folks and welcome to the new year! 
I hope everyone is feeling positive and welcoming a fresh start!

Last year, I did Susannah Conway's Unravelling 2014 and was very excited to do the 2015 workbook this year!
(It can be found here.)

It's a lovely workbook filled with reflection on the past year and dream making for the year ahead. 

Here's a few snippets of mine: 

What did you let go of in 2014?
bitterness, hesitations, reservations, guilt

What were you grateful for in 2014?
reconnecting, help and inspiration from online artist and healers, for meeting my lovely panda Pashford, for taking risky leaps

How has your life changed? What have you learned about yourself?
I've dimmed, I've let life happen to me. I've gotten stuck.
I've learned that I believe in love more than I thought. 
I've learned the importance of rituals, energy, and intention. 
I've learned how much I create myself. 

What gifts did 2014 offer you?
confidence, bravery, enlightenment, vision, comfort, safety, worth, words, awareness

Word for the 2015:
(I chose two this year.)

What can you do this year to bring more of your Word(s) into your world?
get rid of things that drain energy, practice more rituals, be more active/engaging, go on more adventures

List three duties/commitments you feel ready to release in 2015:
putting others before myself, feeling exhausted from work, being timid or modest

List three things you will aim to do each morning to start your day:
stretch, drink water, write flow of thought 

What do you want 2015 to look like, feel like, be filled with?
laughter, dance, ritual, connections, opportunity, brightening, crafting, reveling, guiding, honoring, caring, shining, reaching

I will make more time for:
connections, art, adventure

This year, I will say yes to:
making changes, being brave, being bright, inspiring, feeling deeply

Here is my overview map for the year:

and there was a page for a tarot map for the year: 
Mine has some hardships, but overall ends on a positive note. 
The workbook is very introspective and a helpful guide, I definitely recommend it! 

I'm not huge on New Year's resolutions but here are a few things I aspire to for the new year: weekly tarot readings, writing more, reading more, more adventures, learning new things, going to more shows, new tattoos, cooking more, making more art (obviously), creating an e-course.

New Year's Eve was a magical fun night, surrounded by friends, games and champagne!

I hope you all the best with this new year. 
Check out the Unravelling workbook, it is a lot of fun and great for guiding yourself into the fresh year!