Monday, March 31, 2014

Get Lost

Hello beautiful and vibrant folks!

I just wanted to announce that I am taking a 30 day break from the internet. 
I have taken week long breaks before but I am feeling like a more drastic unplugging is in order. 
I will still be posting my #100happydays over on Twitter, but not to get the booklet reward.
I've already missed a day, so I don't get the reward, but I didn't feel like giving up the challenge altogether because of that. 

April is National Poetry Month, so I shall be challenging myself to write a poem everyday for the next 30 days. 
I may post on here every week or so, sharing my poems. 

But besides that, no browsing Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Blogger, Pinterest (oh god!). 

Lately, I keep feeling like I am missing something, some ritual of growth. 
So many things inspire me.
The ideas swarm and crowd my mind, so it's hard to sleep. 
I read about minimalism, intuitive art, art journaling challenges, feminine shaman work. 
Not to mention my interest in DIY, poetry, writing, and learning more about natural sciences. 
They all sound so empowering and full of joyful growth. 
So much so that I feel as if I am being pulled in many directions at once. 
I want to experience them all, but I know I can only focus on one at a time. 
So, I just end up halting, unable to take a beginning step in any direction at all.  
I feel as if I am floating in an infinite sea of grounding forces. 
I itch at the wispy feeling that grows within me. 

So, even if it's small; a small act, a tiny, almost imperceptible step.
Even if it's things I can easily do, like poetry.
I believe unplugging will help me to focus, on anything at all.
Anything besides merely reading about the journeys of others. 

I keep hesitating, imagining that at some point the stars will align, a light will shine on which path to take. I have a habit of waiting on perfect conditions. 
When I first came to Colorado, I experienced such a burst of growth, healing, and joy. 
I keep thinking that in order to experience such growth again, I must recreate the circumstances, the rituals, the meditations, and the courage. 

But it isn't a specific act, ritual, or set of circumstances that matters. 
It's choosing to lose yourself in something outside of yourself. 
To immerse yourself within it, to allow yourself to absorb it.
To be molded and transformed through the fire, through the passion of your journey. 
Let yourself become obsessed, enveloped. 
Whether it's personal healing, learning a new language, an art challenge, writing a book, learning engineering, or just finding reasons to be grateful everyday;
 become it, get lost within it.
 Blissfully lost. 

Don't try to grow. Just fall madly in love with what you are immersed in. 
Growth will unfold naturally.
And you will enter a state of grace. 

See you on the other side. 
 Be well.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Poems and pages!

Hello folks! 
So, I go through phases of not being able to write any poetry at all. 
But just recently, with spring coming in, I have just felt greatly inspired. 
And two poems just flowed from me so freely that I don't even think I wrote them and some cosmic being was ghost writing through me.
But still, they bring me some amounts of joy so I want to share them! 

"Among You"

I am among you, humanity
I dwell within
beating out your hearts cadence
coursing through your foggy veins
you are not without me
I reside in your breathing
in your eyes I twinkle like the starlihgt
so that when your lover looks into them, 
they shiver
they see themselves
they see us dancing
crisp evenings gone to the wind
I am the unheard song residing in your throat
warmth in your arms
the heat you radiate when your lover feels safe
I am the bags underneath your eyes 
when you stop sleeping 
because awake is the scariest thing you've done
I am the prints your fingers leave behind
evidence at the scene of your humanity's crime
of yearning
I am the song you call out
the bird that carries it across the decades
across the suns shining
the moon glow
the ambient sound of the ocean meeting the shore
I am for you
I breathe you
I keep my eyes upon you
I settle in to watch you rise and fall
the dream catcher that caught us all
I dreamt of you
I can not imagine a moment in your absence
the pain of air uninhabited by your being
for I am miles away but never far
I keep every time you blink within a jar
and you awake
you move your flesh in forward motion for my sake
and I entrance 
entreat the gods for you
and I surrender
I am the rain washing your dust away
and just to be the ground beneath,
just for that I stay
and I could call you sacred
to hear your voice vibrate the words 
"my Beloved"
I cross beyond no measure
beyond no worthy lands
and make my home in your quiet laughter
my pleasure path
my eternal fountained beauty
in you alone I take up residence
I am among you
I dwell within
beating out you cadence 
of absolution

"Coffee Cups" 

a paper bag of coffee cups
hard edges but soft to the touch
and I may never see this set of skin again in my lifetime
the need to memorize every line that you reside in overwhelms me
in one instance of absence then existing in the same realm of being as me 
and i'm left reeling 
and I am not myself
with no resolve to not be walking beside you for however long it takes
impatience is a trait trained too strong
but no more than expectations
I breathe to release them, let them drop like the walls of my reality
and I don't mean offense but your words are useless without form
and I take each sip with a grain of salt 
but I can't help tasting the graditude 
rising shamelessly but I let loose the useless pride 
of a life not fully lived and waiting anxiously to be filled
with the light of extrodinary existence
topped with the disappointment of unfulfilled realities
that fall from us like petals and we are the stem
we change pots but not personalities
but it's the pleasures of immediate surroundings 
that I can bear to leave well enough alone
and take steps in a different direction from the things I used to cling to 
I think they call that growth
but i'm just pleasantly surprised
to tuck it quiet within me
the return to a world that doesn't begin and end with someone else's eyes beholding 
what can't even be seen within me   
I think they call that freedom
but to me it's connecting the dots but coloring outside the lines
of reckoning
of a safety we can't undo
so we grow a garden instead
an air we made breathable within you
quietly proclaimed
as worthy.

So, yes, those are my two most recent poems that I am really quite smitten with!
My style is changing slightly, and my poems are getting longer. I'm into it. 

And here are two pages from my new art journal. 
I am trying new styles and exploring my expressions in this new journal. 
I pretty excited. 

Well, that is all for now! I am so excited for spring, it just makes me want to create so many things! 
I am on an indie folk kick lately. 
 And a smoothie kick. I've been making mine with strawberries, blackberries, kale, greek yogurt, and a touch of honey! So good!

Until next time, be well!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Lots of drawing and Elfing around!

Hello there folks! I've been doing a lot of drawing/doodling lately, just to try new things. 
Life has gotten a bit hectic, so I haven't been working on bigger pieces or even journal spreads lately. 
But doing a few drawings here and there helps me feel like I am not entirely dropping the ball!

I have also been whipping up some art print ideas, I plan on getting these into the etsy shop very soon! 

 And I've been traipsing about as an elf! Because...why not?

 I think my favorite part of dressing up is seeing children's faces light up and having them ask if my ears are real and replying with "Yes, I'm an elf! Shhh!"

Until next time, be well!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Sharing Sacred Spaces

I don't have much of a message this time around. I just wanted to share a sacred space I have created that brings me peace and joy.
It is somewhat of an altar, a place I go to meditate, and a collection of things that harness positive energy for me.

 There are lots of interesting trinkets! 

 These bells are probably my favorite thing I own right now! An elderly woman I know was giving away many of her possessions and insisted I take what I wanted. The bells were my first thought, such an incredible set and the sound is so harmonious and joyful! :)

 This is a little tray full of small stones and little tid-bits I have found through the years. 

 I have a thing for acorns, spirals, shells, and little vase/jar items.

 This little deer is another object found with the bells, it is so quaint! 

 I found this deer figurine in the trash, if you can believe it! I grabbed it up, washed it off, and it is now home on my cozy altar. 

 Also present is the Egyptian figurine in the front, also found with the bell. The Hippo figurine was also included with those items. My tarot deck (The Shadowscape Deck, to be exact), incense and incense holder, an ohm paper weight (the purple thing next to the deer), an ohm card, a chakra chart recently given to me by a friend, a currently empty notebook (that I plan to fill with spiritual and meditative ideas and inspirations), and a white tiger print that was gifted to me by a deer friend.
So many lovely things in one place! :) 

And hanging above the altar is this dream-catcher my lovely younger sister made me for my birthday! I attached windchimes to it that chime when the a/c goes off. 
Such uplifting energy!

Well, that is really it. I just love this little spot in my room that resonates positive energy, good memories, and joyful imagery.

I would love to hear about your sacred spaces and beloved items!