Sunday, March 7, 2010

i wonder

why are we alive if we eventually stop living?
i'm not asking the meaning of life, really.
why fight so hard to stay alive when everyone will die.
why is death such a negative thing when it is the one certain thing we posses?
but maybe that's like asking "why drive a car if you eventually stop driving?"
the answer is obvious, to get somewhere.
maybe we are just getting somewhere.
except we have no idea where as it is hidden behind the black veil of death.
would we spend out lives differently if we knew what was behind that veil?
but i mean, what's the point of being human if, at some point, every person will stop being human.
i am not saying we should live like animals but i just wonder what being a human is for.
in this book i am reading, "The Zen Commandments" by Dean Sluyter, it says that to sacrifice your life for someone you love is to give up every food you've ever eaten, every sunset you've seen, every breath you've taken, all the knowledge you have worked to acquire.
which made me think, why do we think? why do we do anything?
to what purpose does it serve to want to know more. why is the search for answers and knowledge so innate within us when the knowledge we gain does nothing for us after death.
why do we experience emotions, why do we test our emotionally capacity through human relationships? who do we see sunsets? how does any of this help us when we die?
in the afterlife, in Heaven, it won't matter what bands we enjoyed, what books we read, what relations we had. is life just to be enjoyed, explored and then ended. everything we've gained, fought for, and experienced, coming to an end, never to come to use again.
don't get me wrong, i LOVE being alive and being humans. i find it extremely enjoyable.
but i feel like there most be a greater purpose to life than to just be enjoyed?
but from everything i've said, maybe that is the only purpose.
i'm not implying that life is meaningless, i am just curious.
why be curious when whatever you are curious about doesn't matter when you die?
it sounds morbid but i don't mean it to be.
i don't find death to be as morbid as most people, i don't know it well enough.
i guess i just see it was that veil.
i sometimes wonder if eternity is real.
i mean, i believe in Heaven and Hell, but i'm not sure if I believe in eternity in Heaven or Hell, because what's the point in that, really?
maybe God doesn't keep creating new souls, maybe he only creates new bodies.
that probably sounds bad, but i think there are so many things that are so beyond us.
and the Bible only tells us of our existence. maybe there was an earth before this one.
maybe there will be one after this. i always hear about the Rapture and i believe it, but then i wonder, after it's all over, "then what?".
maybe there's different universes or realms or realities, co-existing with ours, and they have their own Bible, telling them of their existence. and maybe Jesus went there too and died for their sins too. and maybe their brains were created different and they developed in entirely different ways that we can't even comprehend, just as they can't comprehend our 3Gs and ever changing technology. maybe they can use magic and talk to animals. and i bet you think i just have a huge imagination. but maybe these things only exist in our imaginations because we are, on some cosmic level, connected to those other beings, in ways we may never notice, or that we pass off as dreams.
and maybe when we die, we do go to heaven and hell. and we wait.
wait to be put into a new body and live a new live on a new Earth or realm.
i wonder how many times i've lived before.
none of that explains the purpose of being human to begin with so it was just pointless ramblings.
but still, i wonder.


  1. Seriously, I think about all of these things too! I think its completely normal to think these things too. It doesn't make you a bad Christian or person in contemplating other ideas and philosophies. I've never really feared death... I mean...when it's over there's peace. Whether its an eternity in heaven or a partial heaven or whatever. Who knows, and seriously, why does it matter? People scream and yell at eachtother over this issue. But really. If you love and worship God and you have faith in Christ why does the rest matter? I think life on earth is all about what you learn and what impact you had on spreading God's glory to the world. Each generation influences the next. Anyways...I totally have contemplated ALL these things. Maybe if we, as Christians, weren't so rigidly black and white and pretend that we have to answers to everything we could accomplish so much more. I know I don't have all the answers, but I have faith that I'll get there and thats all that matters.

  2. i like you! and i liked this! honestly, sometimes I can't wait to die because I think about what could happen after and I just want to know.

  3. I have always thought that death is a celebration of life. When else do people look back at all we've done, and think of all the pleasant memories? When else do they say all the profound things we said, and think about the way we tried to live our life? And even if they know our failures, this is the one time they can look past that and see that maybe somewhere inside we had good intentions. You might say, graduation, or a wedding is an instance where we look back on life, and while that is true, in those instances we are only celebrating our lives up until that point. Or to narrow it down, our academic life, and so on. So..yeah, death is a celebration of life. To me at least. Of course there are occasions when we don't see that at all, but generally speaking.