So, a while back, I wrote on my 750 words account about the pain I still felt at the lose of many old friends, due in part mostly to their indifference to whether we interacted or not. I reread what I had written and made a vast realization of what I had stuck my own self in.
I realized that I was indeed stuck in the mire
and simply wallowing in it. Funny how we do that, eh?
I needed to take true affirmative action. I needed to lift myself out.
I realized that this was serious business, I really
could not keep going on like this. I was making myself sick.There was
no way I was going to grow and heal going on like this.
People have really hurt me. And I was holding on so tightly to that hurt. I
wanted them to feel it, to feel the burning I felt inside, but
they were indifferent.
They were not
going to change. They were not going to apologize.
And so I
had to step up and do the forgiving myself. I had to heal myself. I had
to really forgive them. I had to really let them go. I had to abandon
any thoughts or hopes of changing them, of making them care.
True friends act like friends, they support you,
they seek out your company. If someone really loves you, they act like
it. You do not have to chase after them, begging them to acknowledge
you. And that is a very important, almost essential thing to realize,
and realize it early. Because you can spend years or even an entire
lifetime trying so hard to be around people that do not care, that do
not support you, that do not think about you when you are not around.
And they do not deserve your time and energy and emotions. I am not
saying they are terrible people, they are just not the people that you
need in your life. They are not the people that are going to help you
grow and heal and build yourself up.
So let them go, truly and fully.
Write them letters, real and raw, deep and dirty, but also full of
forgiveness. Really write out how they have hurt you and really write
out why you are forgiving them and letting them go. And then burn those
letters, and really watch these chains you've created burning, turning
to ash, and dissolving into the wind.
And feel the freedom that brings.
Breathe the air through lungs unburdened with the weight of sorrow. Take
those very strong feelings of being unwanted, of being invisible, of
being abandoned, of being unworthy, of being insignificant, and burn
them.
Meditate on friendship, on what it looks like to you, on how it
manifests in your life, and focus on creating that energy in your life,
and true friendship will find it's way into your life. It may take time. It can take plenty of sifting through not so true friends, but the real ones will find you.
You will slowly create your life tribe. The people that you can call
family, the people that will help you create the best you, but also love
you through the times when you are the worst you. They exist, and
believe me, they want you just as much as you want them.
Delete those
old numbers that never respond, delete "friends" from Facebook that
have no desire to interact or connect with you. Let them go. The
negative energy of holding on to those that have hurt you, it does not
affect them, no matter how much you want them to notice. But it
affects you, severely, in a very damaging way. And you need to let it go
for the sake of your safety, your health, your well-being, and your
self-healing. Let go of the mire, of the feelings that are influenced by
the actions of others. And pick up the mantras of self-love, of worth,
of being loved, of acceptance, of meaning. Because you are the embodiment of all these things. You know you are.
And by focusing on these energies, you will attract those that know you
are as well. And you deserve them. Never doubt that.
The above advice has helped me significantly, in ways beyond words. They have allowed substantial healing to occur in my life and I am so thankful for that. It helped me and I am only sharing with the hope that if any of you every find yourself in a similar situation, that you may find peace and healing as well.
I love you all and am very thankful for your friendship, your positive energy, and your supportive words.
I thank you dearly for that.
thank you. I really needed to read this :)
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome! If you are going through anything like this, then I am very glad this post has made it's way to you! Keep on keeping on! And remember how worthy you are!
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