I am a dreamer. I can not help it! I always have been and I probably always will. I dream of a minimalist life, living outside society's norms, living outside consumerism, hurting the earth as little as possible and hopefully healing more than I hurt. And I have made steps along this peaceful path. But I mostly cling to dreaming of a future in which I practice all these things and live happily in some quiet cottage, surrounded by forest and a babbling brook, or what have you. But the truth is, that is not going to happen tomorrow, or in the next year, and depending on where this path of life takes me, I may not ever get there. I am not living out my own beliefs and ideals because I am waiting for some picture perfect life to fall into my lap first. But really, my life is crazy, chaotic and not calming down anytime soon. I work a physically demanding job, I am moving back to my home state in 11 days, I am currently living with 7 people in a four bedroom house, and mostly, my mind is racing. All.the.time.
So, because my life is an unpredictable chaos ball, I don't have time to waste on waiting. I need to start practicing my ideals now. I need to get rid of all these excess possessions, I need to make my own soaps and remedy products as opposed to buying chemicals and supporting the corrupt medical system. I need to buy healthy, local, and organic foods. I need to stop giving money to companies whose values and actions I do not support at all. I need to stop eating meat. Seriously. I need to do work that is meaningful to me, that I am passionate about. I need to let go of my little comforts and really practice what I know to be true for my life. I need to stop the little voice that says "Well, you are way better than 99% of America, you don't own a huge t.v. or a snazzy car, you meditate and focus on positive energy, you are patient and compassionate and you write poetry and all that cool stuff."
I am never going to heal this Earth by dreaming, or wishing, or waiting around, or feeling high and mighty at accomplishing the bare minimum. I am never going to create the life I wish for all beings if I do not create it for myself first. I can not heal another spirit until I have sucked society's poison of comfort and complacency from my own veins.
I need to get radical. I need to get weird. I need to get extreme. People will get annoyed, people will get weirded out, and people will get a face full of truth.
But I need a face full of truth first. And instead of just dreaming for it, I am going to run towards it, noodle arming it and screaming like a banshee from hell. I'm not quite sure why, but it feels really right.