Thursday, April 18, 2013

Recipe for a Robyn (or How You Too Can Be A F*%^ing Anarchist Monk!)

So, this is just something that has been on my mind lately. I am a true Gemini, with two distinct sides to me, both equally powerful, useful, and each one inherently me. So, what makes up a Robyn?
Here's the recipe.

  • Take 1/2 Dainty Anarchist
  • 1/2 Bad-ass Monk
  • Mix together with messy collage art, writing, and six tons of gratefulness
  • Bake for 24 years
And you have a me!  Well, that is the simple version. But really, I do bounce back and forth between two distinct personalities. There is the anarchist, the revolutionary, the hardcore feminist, the balls to the wall bad ass chick that will fight the fires of Hell for freedom, for peace, and for truth. I love feeling like a bad ass. It's a good feeling! I like wearing ripped jeans and leather jackets and cussing like a sailor. I like sticking it to the man and breaking rules and giving the middle finger to social expectations put on class, gender roles, race, women's bodies, sexuality, and just about everything else they can get their fingers on. I'm a radical. I am here to shake up the established order. That is so engrained within me, I'm sure I do it in my sleep. Example:

 Just spreading some anarchy about town. 
(No, Mom and Dad, I don't make a habit out of graffiti-ing public trashcans.)

But that's not all there is to me. There is another very different side. The healer, the spiritual being, the "hippie", the meditater, the peace activist, the steady voice calling for calm, the advocate for nonviolence. I take barefoot meditation walks. I always try to be connected to nature, all other beings, and the Universe. I try to see suffering in the Universe and I work very hard to heal it. I like wearing flowers and feathers in my hair and trying to give positive energy to others through massage therapy. I believe in silence, in being here, in gratefulness and mindfulness. I believe in engaging others with compassion and peace. I believe nonviolence is the only way to truly win any war, whether a personal war or global war. And just like my other side, this part of me is so engrained within me, it comes as natural as breathing. Example:

Spreading peace and communing with nature.

And reconciling these two aspects can be confusing and hard at times. When most people hear the word "Anarchy", they think of punk music, molotov cocktails, and riots. It paints a picture of violence and hatred. But that is not the voice of anarchy that beats inside of me. I hear a voice of freedom, of compassion, of all beings living in peace. To me, being a monk and being an anarchist are the same thing.  I could not fight for anarchy if I was not a spiritual being, if I did not believe all beings to be connected. And I could not claim to be a spiritual being if I did not want freedom for all, I could not chant prayers in one breath and confess alliance to powers that oppress in the next breath.

And so, I have this dual nature. I am a cussing monk, causing trouble to society. I am the peaceful radical, bringing compassion to a system run on hate and greed and fear.

Humans are complicated creatures. No person can fit one role. We must find those voices within us. The ones that flow in our blood. We must claim allegiance to them and fight for them. And that is who we are, that is our meaning. And it may have two very different names, it may even have twenty different names. And that is okay, because within us, they all become one; one purpose, one heart beating, one being breathing.

What voices are calling out to you and how do you plan to align them with your life's journey?