Monday, May 5, 2014

By the Stream

First of all, I'm back on the internet! 
I honestly didn't miss it that much. (Except all the funny cat photos!) 
It definitely made me see how much time I gave to the internet world and not the real world. 
So, that is something I need to be mindful of. 

The past two weeks have been chaos and stress and sickness. :(
We've been understaffed at work, I've been working overtime. 
I got really sick, like couldn't move because it made my head, neck, and chest throb.
That lasted three days. 
And now allergies are kicking me in the face and it's rather unpleasant. 

But Sunday, I went to work and it was exhausting. I felt really defeated by the amount of work coupled with my sore and sick body. I just felt sad and defeated and beat up. 

But instead of just taking the bus home, which was really tempting, I took the creek path home. 
I kind of forced myself. I was like "You need some nature and the soothing sounds of the creek, so just suck it up. Go slow, but do it!  You need it, desperately."
So, I did. And it was really lovely. I really did need it quite badly. 
Being in nature helps to connect me, align me, and center me. 
It reminds me that it's not just work and scheduling and sickness. 
It reminds me that there's more.
I wrote this little poem, and it's kind of cheesy, but it's full of truth. 
(Also, I use the word "stream" in the poem, because I think it's prettier than "creek". Alas.)

"nothing like a twenty-five year old
sitting on a rock, staring
wistfully at the stream
poised to write melodramatic poetry 
like she did when she was sixteen.

But I swallow what the stream says
I swallow what the wind says
I swallow what the rays of sun through the leaves say

fallen in front of me
matter of factly
with the same staying sound
of a rock hitting the water
"Well, I can't go on being unhappy."

the rocks say
the moss says
the water drying from my feet says

Good, and maybe
and here is space to try
to spread, to alter

here is the sound of becoming
the sound of sitting by the stream."

I hope that you are all well and all making space for your well being and brightness. 

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