Never Stop Exploring: A Photo Essay

I haven't done much work with black and white photography. I thought I would give it a try with some photos of a recent road-trip. I really like the story they tell.

Words and Images: Peaceful Coloring

This is the start of a new little series for the blog. 

"Words and Images" will be simple posts sharing my recent intuitive writings and sketches.

The point is simplicity, nothing elaborate.

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a peaceful coloring, a moment's glow

expressive

but not in focus

I'm all sorts of bursting 

 

fall is my comfort, travel my remedy

can all my words be heard in the clamor? 

pinched nerve reckoning

 

I'm more than disaster, scribblings

reckless searching, soft news

it never did rain

 a cascading emergence, truth emerging

no one can make me feel behind the curve

of my own path

I didn't find it, I said "hello"

a wind in the voice

a bending pain

I don't want to balance anymore

I want wild abandon

full immersion

shouts of completion

 an explosion, an outpouring

a forgiveness

a blissful wandering 

in me.

Creekside Explorations

The town I live in has an amazing creek running through it. 

There is a walking/bike path that runs along the creek as well.

It's a really lovely peace of nature right in the heart of the city.

I need nature. 

It grounds me. 

It makes me feel at peace and whole. 

When I go too long without spending time surrounded by nature, I begin to feel low energy and unexcited about life. 

Nature connects me to positive, refreshing energy. 

The other day I went exploring along the banks of the creek. 

I try to get away from the streets and the path and find quiet places away from city noise. 

Here's what some moments looked like to me: 

 Such a lovely creek! 

 I love looking up and seeing the tops of trees against a blue sky. Blue and green together is lovely! 

 These balanced stones are all over my town. They are a great representation of balance and zen. 

 Another thing I'm kind of obsessed with is the way sunlight filters through the trees. Whether its the green leafs or the yellows and reds of fall, I find it so enchanting! 

There are a lot of tree roots covered in moss by the creek. This one just looked wise and fluid to me. 

I walked for about 20 minutes before finding the ideal spot to settle down to write, draw and read.

More lovely tree colors against a vivid blue sky. 

I love drawing by the creek. The sound of the water is a great background for when I am lost in a creative flow. 

 On the way walk back to my bike, I found this really cool orange feather! I don't know what kind of bird this might belong to, but I want to see one someday. 

 There a lots of spots covered with green and red moss. It looks so magical and pretty with the creek flowing next to it.

For most of our lives, it is naturally to only look around us at eye level. 

I try to make it a point to look up at the trees and sky and to get down closer to the small details of moss and mushrooms and roots. 

There is so much beauty and detail we can miss by only looking in one direction. 

A Deathcab for Cutie song sums it up nicely: "Oh, what a beautiful view, if you were never aware of what was around you."

Switch up your angles and your perspective from time to time, the views will refresh you and open up your creativity!

And definitely don't forget to surround yourself with organic, breathing nature!

TARDIS Casual Cosplay!

For those of you that don't know, I am a HUGE Doctor Who fan (also known as "Whovian"). 

August 23rd marked the new season of Doctor Who and introduced the new Doctor, played by Peter Capaldi. 

It also happened to be my partner and I's one month anniversary! 

So, we bought tickets for the theater premier on the August 25 and planned a whole day of Whovian greatness. Including pancakes with banana Daleks:

We invented a great drink called Sonic Screwdrivers (Blue lemonade, vodka, and redbull) Dangerously Delicious! 

We had fishsticks and custard, of course! (Well, we substituted pudding for custard to save time, but still!) 

But the point of this post was to show you my casual cosplay that I wore for the premeir!

I went as the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension In Space).

 I found a cute blue dress at a thrift shop. 

I printed off the Police Box sign and glued it to cardboard to create a necklace.

I printed off the "Free For Use of Public" sign and also glued it to cardboard to create a pin. 

I also had a little TARDIS to seal the outfit. 

And I have a "Bad Wolf" neck tattoo so that really seals the deal!

My partner went as a casual 10th (played by David Tennant).

We made quite the pair, I must say! 

This will definitely be a go-to for any cons I go to soon! 

Casual cosplays are an easy and less expensive way to nerd out in style!

Please share any of your recent and favorite cosplays!

Listening to Longing

I want to write about longing. 

What a vast concept. 

A yearning, a deepness, something inside of us is thirsty.

Something ancient, something beyond us. 

When we take in our longing, we resonate on a harmonious level with the world around us. 

We operate at our full potential. 

We shine our brightest light.

 I believe it has to do with a silencing. 

Quieting what surrounds us so we can hear the ocean within. 

It's difficult to hear, let alone feel your longing when you fill your life with busyness and noise, especially white noise.

We all have longing. 

Most of the time we feel it but aren't mindful or conscious of it. 

We know something is missing, we feel the dull ache. 

But instead of taking the time, energy, or space to look inward, to see what is settled there, waiting to be acknowledged, we so easily drown out the whisper with lives filled with busy work, schedules, unfulfilling experiences, and mindless entertainment. 

 We try to quell it with material wealth, fitting in, the rat race, and the social media trap of spending so much time looking like we are having the time of our lives that we don't actually spend any time having the time of our lives. 

(Did that make any sense?)

Listening to our longing takes a bold act, something our society considers radical and scary. 

Listening to our longing takes silence, 

If you are feeling that ache, if you are feeling a tug on the inside, feeling something whispering to be noticed, then do the scary thing and quiet yourself and your life for a moment. 

Or many moments. Or forever. 

 But really, a little moment will do. 

Make time, space and energy for this longing to emerge. 

Create a space that the longing feels safe in. 

Let go of your own expectations and ideals of who you are supposed to be. 

Let go of the person other people expect you to be.

Let go of what you or others think your life should look like.

The longing will arise, let it speak. 

Let it arrange itself into whatever form it needs. 

Do not try to alter it, conform it, or quiet it. 

Be respectful. 

Let the longing express itself. 

In these moments of intentional listening to your yearning, you gain incredible insight. 

Allow it to make itself known and you will connect with a deep truth. 

Your longings become your dreams, your passions, your footpath. 

They become what fills you, what lights you up, what nurtures you.

Don't be afraid of your longing. 

Maybe it's unconventional, uncomfortable, or "unrealistic".

But this longing encourages growth. 

When you are living and working in alignment with our passions, your life shines.

You become brilliant, you inspire those around you. 

What is your longing whispering to you? 

And what if you listened?

How could that change your life?

What If?

What if I didn't think about it so much?

What if I didn't worry? 

What if I found the fun again? 

the joy?

What if I came into it with a childlike presence? 

What if I sang at the top of my lungs? 

What if I let myself go? 

What if I lost myself in it?

What if I felt more than I thought?

What if I let the bliss of the colors and motions overcome me?

What if I didn't think about the internet or sharing or comparing? 

What if I didn't think about the long run?

the followers?

or about how it all looks from the outside? 

I'm having fun with the "what if" lately.

 

For Starting Again's Sake

I wish I could say some magical bolt of inspiration lightning has inspired this post. 

Or even that I had lots of art to share. (I have a little bit, but I've been thinking it's not the best to hide behind WIP posts forever.) 

Honestly, I feel as I've kind of lost myself the past few months. 

I certainly have not been living my word of the year. 

("Become", for those that don't know.) 

I've been floating. 

Which is actually quite unlike me, because that was a quality I possessed in the four year period in which I was emotionally ill. 

So, usually, when it tries to pop in these days, I kick it in the face.

But it was quite stealthy this time around and so I have just been floating. 

Going to work, coming home to non-productive activities, not making things priorities that really should be.

I read this post by a friend of mine who is an exuberant and all around inspirational human(?).

In the post, he is struggling with one of the ideal moments of his career coming to fruition and his seemingly odd instinct to not act, to hesitate.

And that really resonated with me. I am going through something quite similar.
(Though not quite on such an epic scale as E3!)
I have been given the opportunity to make art for my friend's band.
And this is a huge deal for me, it feels very good.
It feels great that someone saw my art and connected with it and felt that it expressed something they wanted to share with their listeners.
That's a very powerful opportunity!   
But I feel like, faced with this wondrous chance to step up to the artist plate,
I feel myself hesitate, I clam up.

And it's odd. Because while I consider myself an artist, I do NOT consider myself a "professional artist".
I am reserving that title for when I am selling art, or making art for people, or teaching courses and workshops.
And so, this exact chance is something that would bring be closer to my ideal career.
And yet, I falter.
I doodle somewhat and create concepts.
But I actually haven't been focusing on it with full force, majestic happy joy manic energy.

And well, that's odd, isn't it?
I know it has something to do with confidence and ideas or worth.
And also, the fear of just failing, of rejection.
Art is personal. It's a deep, raw representation of my essence and experiences splayed on a canvas with colored paints and crazy paper.

But really though, I'm just dragging my feet.
Greatness and goals and dreams are in sight before me and I am dragging my feet.

Humans sure are an odd bunch.

But, I'm somewhat on a path in getting my act together, right?
Being self aware and acknowledging my position and my tendencies, well, that's a start.
And so, (to bring this full circle to the beginning of the blog) it does come down to what I am prioritizing in my life. What I am choosing to spend time and energy on.
Self-discipline is not always my strong point but it is necessary for growth, especially for growing in incredible ways toward my actual own ideals that I oddly block myself from.

So, there is not a true strong motivational point to this post here, for which I apologize.
It's just me sharing a creative struggle and a declaration of me getting back into focus.
One thing I love about these online communities is the aspect of accountability.
It's nice to put something like this out there in the inter-world-web and have people ask me
"Hey, so, have you been making time to make art?"
You all keep me in line and I appreciate that immensely!

I hope you are all well and making your dreams come true every day!

(You'll be hearing from me more often.)